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Post by Imorta Thaw on Aug 30, 2007 19:12:48 GMT -8
This is just a short reflection. I have no idea who the boy is though.... Sometimes I feel like this, other times I am either REALLY happy, or feel nothing and pretend to be happy.
She smiled at him. Her soul expanded as he smiled back. Then, with another look, he deflated it with a smirk. She turned away in a feeble attempt to regain control. It failed. It failed when she saw two other people. Adults this time. They grabbed hold of her, and smiling, began to pull in opposite directions. She got loose, but lost her balance and fell. She fell, and fell, and as she fell, her attempts to grab hold of things simply tore pieces of her being off. She left them, helpless as she was pulled ever farther by an irresistible force. She tried to make walls around herself to stop the destruction, but as she spun part of her defences, the other parts crumbled. She was loosing the battle for her humanity.
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Post by Seventh Lass on Aug 31, 2007 6:08:32 GMT -8
first of all, i am torn between two desires: to tell you how incredibly good that was and to psychoanalyze it. not that i really have to, because i think you know exactly what's going on in that story. though my comment is that the boy is probably just your personal manifestation of all the people around you, so it's not just one boy, more like the world as him.
and no you're not going to fall apart. you are going to be fine. the walls that you can erect are walls like this one, walls of words, and that really isn't so little, if you think about it. i promise you, tat. you'll be fine. just be patient with them. they probably don't even realize that they're doing this.
(i guess that's not really comforting, is it?)
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Post by Imorta Thaw on Aug 31, 2007 14:44:57 GMT -8
Nope... not at all... And the scarry thing is, I was in a good mood when I wrote this....
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Post by Seventh Lass on Aug 31, 2007 16:24:18 GMT -8
Tat, it'll be fine. i promise. come on. you just have 4 years left and then you'll be off to college, living your own life. just ignore them for now. and if either gets too annoying, then you can look for a solution. right now, just make the most of your life. high school will be over only too soon, you'll see that as soon as your frosh year is finished. so calm down. that which is not cracked cannot be broken. so just make peace with the fact that they are going to fight, and that there's nothing you can do about it, and that it is their problem. you'll be okay, you really will.
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Post by Imorta Thaw on Aug 31, 2007 19:32:37 GMT -8
The whole my own life thing doesn't appeal either. And it's not annoying, it's heart breaking. I don't think that anyone who hasn't went through this can really understand.... I know (not think, know) that if I han'd been consived, they would never had married. I know this because Mom told me, last year. She was trying to tell me that it wasn't my fault. (I had used that as an excuse of being rude and snappy). And they keap twisting every __ thing I say! I say "I'll think about it, "and one takes it as a "yes, but my mom/dad doesn't want me too." and the other will think "no, but I don't want to hurt your fealings" I HATE it. and I'll stop now cause this is ruining my mood....
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Post by Seventh Lass on Aug 31, 2007 22:39:17 GMT -8
look, i know you love them and everything, but if they are ruining your life, then make them sit down on the couch and tell them. they probably don't even realize they're pulling you apart. they love you, tat, and that's why they each wanna be with you. and you have to realize that they're only doing everything because they love you, so don't be to harsh on them, or on yourself.
yeah, so they won't have married. and then, probably your dad won't have gotten a job here, just cause the recruiter people for genesis give preference to young married couples. so, first of all, if you do insist on thinking this way, at the end it was better for both of them that you were conceived. though i have to comment that it's kind of useless to concern yourself with all these what-if's. what if the sky fell down? what if napoleon was born in russia? what if columbus accidentally managed to sail past the new world and did get to India?
okay, i guess what i'm trying to say is that you've just got to be patient, but if does get to be too much, just tell them. seriously. it'll help you, and it just might actually get them to look farther than their own selves about the matter and make them grow up a little. so just be patient. it'll be fine.
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Post by Imorta Thaw on Sept 1, 2007 9:17:01 GMT -8
Oh they know all right. mostly because whenever it becomes too much to handle I sorta burst and yell what's on my mind.
And that's not a fact. I'm sure he would have gotten it cause when we went back this summer he had like five jobs offered which payed nearly 100,000 dollars there. Anyway, Mom would have been better off in Russia, if not dad.
But, you'r right.... and i don't usually think about it... it's just that sometimes, I really need to vent, cause if I don't do something like that, I might do something much worse...
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Post by Seventh Lass on Sept 1, 2007 15:36:18 GMT -8
yeah, i know. just don't forget to smile once in a while.
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Post by Imorta Thaw on Sept 1, 2007 15:59:56 GMT -8
Hehe, I just did. Thanks Len.
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